Rocket man

The road has come to its end: last Sunday Hank Moody left his Porsche thus ended a show worthy to remember. Californication was a breeze of fresh air amidst the endless sea of silly sitcoms, and even though the last season was a let down, Hank will never be forgotten.

Instead of a cheesy summary I'd like to throw in some captions to show you why Cali was my favorite show until this day.

Missing yours? Add it in the comments!

Roxanne

OK, so all of you know Roxanne from Police. Or from Moulin Rouge. Well, I happen to love both. With the image of the movie plus the reinvented lyrics, I've attempted to create a short play-like script. Hope Sting won't get too mad.

A woman lays on a table. Hands and feet tied, mouth loosely gagged. She wears a red transparent dress, lingerie shows through the soft material. Sharp light falls on her, leaving everything else pitch black. A man's voice can be heard.

MAN

Roxanne! I've told you many times. You don't have to put on the red light. Those days are over! I take good care of you now.

His silhoutte appears as he gently touches her thighs. A fraction of a second and he is gone again.

MAN

You don't have to sell your body to the night! I have money. I have a house. I have all the riches you need. You don't have to wear that dress tonight.

MAN

(laughing at himself)

Even if I was the one asking you to wear it. But even if you know I can give you everything- what do you do? Walk the streets of money. And you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right.

He appears again, this time for a longer notion. He touches her body all around, slowly, with some wicked passion.

MAN

Roxanne! You don't have to put on the red light! You can wear whatever you want. Roxanne! You don't have to put on the red light... You don't have to work no more.

Woman pants, moans. Starts to chant with a fading voice from behind the mouthgag. Man stops touching her and remains motionless.

WOMAN

Put on the red light... put on the red light... put on the red light.

As the woman stops chanting, the man keeps circling around, disappearing and re-appearing.

I loved you since I knew you. Since day one. You were the prettiest of all, Roxanne. I wouldn't talk down to you! My words are real. They are for real, sweet Roxanne! I have to tell just how I feel...

Man appears again, and grabs woman's arm swiftly and with some power. Woman moans her line indistinctly.

MAN

I won't share you with another boy. I know my mind is made up. It's only you who I want! 

He touches her face, lips and starts to smudge her lipstick.

MAN

So put away your make up... Told you once I won't tell you again.

Leans forward, talking to her just a few inches short of her mouth.

MAN

(whispering)

It's a bad way!

He finally kisses her, less with passion more with fury. He apparently tries to devour her with his hands and mouth as she trembles and shakes.

MAN

Roxanne! You don't have to put on the red light

Lights start to fade as his motions quicken. He climbs the table and loosens his pants.

MAN

(grasping for air)

Roxanne... You don't have to put on the red light...

As the scene fades to black, we hear the man's voice, lower and lower, mixed with the woman's emotionless yet panting lines.

MAN

Roxanne!

WOMAN

Put on the red light...

FADE TO BLACK

God the Branch

A short story told by pictures. And some captions.

Henry: Change it. I want "Formidable". Foooormidable.
Lydia: Please, not again. We are here to enjoy ourselves.

Henry: You mean like this?
Lydia: Stop it, douche!

Henry: Just lemme do it for a little sec...
Lydia: Henry!

Lydia: Let me be! I want to throw little branches to the lake.
Henry: There is something seriously wrong with you.

Henry: I hope you are happy now.
Lydia: <omnomnom>

Henry: Ain't no branches around, hon.
Lydia: There are. Just watch.

Lydia: See?
Henry: One wicked lake.

Henry: So what's next?
Lydia: We are gonna swim a bit.

Henry: As in sexy time swim?

Lydia: Not exactly.

Lydia: Did you see my branch?
Henry: I'm freezin.

Henry: Can we finally skip to sexy time?
Lydia: Hush, jerk. Somebody is following us.

Henry: From above? Has to be the Lord.
Lydia: Henry, you imbecile!

Henry: Ah, now I see! Hello, girl with camera!
Lydia (murmuring): Would you just shut up?

Lydia: I'll show you how to treat stalkers! Eat this sucker!
Henry: Ha-ha. Look at her. She looks furious.

Lydia: Holy cow! Something is really above us!
Henry: I told you it's Him.

Henry: Oh Lord! Take us with you!

Henry: He can't.
Lydia: You shouldn't have lost the fuckin' branch.

THE END
 

Sabina: Shit try, Peter. Better luck next time.