Dream on

I've just realized that I have a somewhat evil personality.

I had a dream a week ago.

I was in a small shop, when two robbers came in starting to take away stuff. The shopkeeper was nowhere so I decided to interact and try to save the day.

I pushed one of the guys, who just fell on a table, hitting the sharp corner of it. The corner made a hole on his head's side, fracturing the skull and it was clear that it's lethal. The other man was shocked, and he called the police cause I killed his friend. There was no evidence that it happened other ways, so the rest of the dream was about me learning how my family would react and how would they believe me. From this point the story is not interesting anymore.

But today this dream stuck in to my head, so on my way back to home I was trying to find out what I would do in real life in the same situation.

There are those moments when you ask a question to yourself and the anwser comes amazingly, naturally fast. My question was simple:

"What would I have done if the robber was blaming the murder on me?"

The answer was horrifically simple:

"I would have killed him."

Making excuses to myself is probably the most pathetic thing that can happen on earth. Even though I calmed down fast, making it clear that in real life decisions are not made so fast nor based only on instincts. Still a bit shocked, I entered into Spar for some food.

I remembered a thought of a good friend. He said that when we want a serial killer to be sentenced for death, we don't differ at all from him. Human nature genetically contains the bestial need for killing, but our civilization made this need much softer. But this is just a disguise, he said.

Comforting, huh?

My idea of killing the other robber in my dream to leave no evidence is in my nature, so why bother?

Somebody gently pushed me from behind as he passed by me. Actually, two guys passed, heading to the cashier.

Still not being able to decide who is right, the friend, my dream-ego or my present self, I followed them to pay. It was already late, about to close and just a few people were wandering in the other side of the shop.

The guy in front of me smiled at the cashier, and with a swift motion grabbed and knocked her head in to the cash register. She apparently fainted. No security was present, so the other guy was counting on the effect that they are causing. Truth be told, I was frozen for a second.

At this point if my present self would have been right, no fast decisions were made. I would have stayed there frozen as it was expected and wait until they leave with the cash.

My dream-ego was proved wrong also.

And my friend?

I pulled out my pocket knife in the blink of an eye, quickly pushing it in to the guy's abdomen. With curiosity in his eyes, he tried to fight back. But just until my knife ripped his artery on the neck.

The roles were changed, the other robber was standing like a statue in front of me. He was not even noticing the blade slipping into his chest once, twice, a dozen time more.

The security guard was running towards me, but the sight left him shocked also. Unable to reach his gun, he tried to hit me with a powerless punch, but I was faster. My knife has drawn a red horizontal line on his stomach, which slowly but surely opened up like a mouth opens for a smile.

I left the building without a word to the few customers left in the middle of the massacre. The wind was chilly outside and the Moon was pale. Just as I was.

I didn't have time for thinking. Not now.

My friend, you were right.