The glass

Around the end of August I got a classy DV-cam with some free time, so I made a short movie with my brothers. The tape was long forgotten until few days ago, when I was desperately looking for some gift ideas.

As I had the chance to get a bief introduction to Adobe Premiere Pro in the previous months, I found it entertaining to edit the footage. The result is shown below, enjoy!

I swear...

Christmas dinner leaves most people stomach full and generally creates those rare joyful moments. Well, nothing joyful here, though there is a remarkable sentence:

(Thinking about what'd we do in 2012 and realizing the end of the world is coming.)

"We would fuck all our way through the final judgement upon humanity, earning our redemption."

Didn't have any better quote to wish everybody a merry christmas... :)

Maybe.

I know I've been a lazyass regarding this blog, but you all know how is Christmas Eve. I mostly don't care about it, but when I do, I don't sleep for the last days. So, I won't write a single sentence on my own, I would just quote:

"maybe when we hitchike somebody rape me, somebody kill you but it will be more fun :D"

Yeah, we were talking about how to get back from Venice after the new year party... nice perspective!

Still, how awesome would it be! Such a busy and amazing year, no doubt the best I remember from the few years of my life, and finishing it abroad- I couldn't wish for more.

Though getting raped and/or killed is not that tempting...

The Breivik-dilemma

It has been such a long time since the last (sober) post appeared on this blog, so I've decided to write something before starting to feel guilty. I had a really interesting story though it happened a month ago or so. I'll try to keep it fresh!

I got my first_ever_surfer via couchsurfing.org in november. A girl from Finland, erasmus in Budapest, interested in Eger, and writing a request- accepted of course!

We spent a great time together, but what I wanna talk about is a small discussion we had about the Breivik mass murder. Yeah maybe too tipical from me to come up with the topic but I definetely needed some insight in the topic from someone who is closer to the events. Trying to pretend as a journalist.

So I started my argument with the surprising fact that he can only get 20 years in Norway. That's the most, there is no life nor death sentence. I was ignorant enough to ask whether if he deserves more or not. Here is what she said:

"Why would he deserve it? If you want to give life sentence to somebody, it's worse than death sentence. You know he won't come out to the "world" again, you arent giving the opportunity to change, just lock him up until the rest of his life. Death sentence does the same without torturing the convict for decades."

I was shocked at her opinion, realizing I never-ever thought about it like this. Weakened, I went on:

"He was well-educated. He was talented in many things, he knew a lot of stuff about the world that surrounds. Still, he did what he did."

Guess what, clever answer came again:

"But that doesnt mean he was happy."

How simple, isnt it?

Good god, my argument was completely invalid, and I just had to realize she is totally true.

So? Do I have conclusion? Maybe. But do you? What does he deserve?

some script, whatever

hol vagy hát

i ve been waiting for you such a long time. are you tired?

no, its okay

just leave your stuff there

i mean, everything

yeah now you re done, just look at me

like that

fine

so

are you drunk?

...

no, i see that, sorry for asking

then whats wrong with you?

your eyes, your movement, man; you re not sober

sure sure just go on

okay so you came here for the ceremony, arent ya

yeah, sorta

being optimistic, huh?

what should i be?

just try to stay cool kay?

kay man. i hear ya

why did you do that?

my nature

you re not evil

you cant tell

from what you did... sure i can

its just a tiny one

sure, tiny murder

like you say

what do ya wanna do with this?

happiness

is that an answer?

apparently

you think that she answered?

nope

so?

who cares. she was just plain stupid. simple like a line

you re nobody to judge

right you are. but i was given the vision

what vision?

the one you ll never get

what do ya see with it?

the truth

did it lead you to completition?

definetely

to satisfaction?

exactly

(now there is a break. the reporter consults with his staff and looks puzzled; the convict sits quietly)

what is the satisfaction in killing people?

i feel them, they re honest. people are never honest,only the second before they die... my job is to help them to be honest

your job? you re a professional?

i would say im an enthusiast

Sue was also honest?

yeah, she screamed honesty through all the existing dimensions. i had goose skin.

she died, eventually.

well, everyone has to sacrifice something.

in this case, it was her life.

yeah, (thinking for a while, smiling) everybody has to offer life something

she didnt get anything back

she got her freedom

she got killed. she left sorrow, nothing else

she left joy!

for you maybe

nobody else matters... nobody ll feel the joy of the intim pair of the murder and the murderee

you re sick

and what r you then?

an investigator

you investigate useless and obvious things

i investigate for the greater good

well, i kill for the greater good. guess which is more efficient? (laughs, reporter tries to grab his shirt but eventually decides to stay calm)

you know you gonna burn.

sure. in your hell. in your world.

what is gonna happen in yours, then?

i ll be just an acolyte. an ignorant student. but i ll exist.

you ll burn,scum!

according to your views,with these words, you ll also burn.

you killed that girl! whatever sentence you get you re gonna get raped and tortured by every prisoner! twice! you ll regret the day you were born! you basta...

i was waiting for it, sir.

you wont find joy. you wont have anything inside there. your twisted mind is gonna be demolished by the darkness of prison and loneliness.

you really dont know me.

(grabs him eventually,shouts at his face spitting into it) fuck you! you ll suffer until the end! and i will take care of that! you ll get old here, and suffer till the very last point of your shameful life!

i hope you re not lying. i like the idea.

shut up! (smacks him, but almost falls with the movement) i... i... take him away! (yells, the guards take him back to the darkness)

curtains

Dream on

I've just realized that I have a somewhat evil personality.

I had a dream a week ago.

I was in a small shop, when two robbers came in starting to take away stuff. The shopkeeper was nowhere so I decided to interact and try to save the day.

I pushed one of the guys, who just fell on a table, hitting the sharp corner of it. The corner made a hole on his head's side, fracturing the skull and it was clear that it's lethal. The other man was shocked, and he called the police cause I killed his friend. There was no evidence that it happened other ways, so the rest of the dream was about me learning how my family would react and how would they believe me. From this point the story is not interesting anymore.

But today this dream stuck in to my head, so on my way back to home I was trying to find out what I would do in real life in the same situation.

There are those moments when you ask a question to yourself and the anwser comes amazingly, naturally fast. My question was simple:

"What would I have done if the robber was blaming the murder on me?"

The answer was horrifically simple:

"I would have killed him."

Making excuses to myself is probably the most pathetic thing that can happen on earth. Even though I calmed down fast, making it clear that in real life decisions are not made so fast nor based only on instincts. Still a bit shocked, I entered into Spar for some food.

I remembered a thought of a good friend. He said that when we want a serial killer to be sentenced for death, we don't differ at all from him. Human nature genetically contains the bestial need for killing, but our civilization made this need much softer. But this is just a disguise, he said.

Comforting, huh?

My idea of killing the other robber in my dream to leave no evidence is in my nature, so why bother?

Somebody gently pushed me from behind as he passed by me. Actually, two guys passed, heading to the cashier.

Still not being able to decide who is right, the friend, my dream-ego or my present self, I followed them to pay. It was already late, about to close and just a few people were wandering in the other side of the shop.

The guy in front of me smiled at the cashier, and with a swift motion grabbed and knocked her head in to the cash register. She apparently fainted. No security was present, so the other guy was counting on the effect that they are causing. Truth be told, I was frozen for a second.

At this point if my present self would have been right, no fast decisions were made. I would have stayed there frozen as it was expected and wait until they leave with the cash.

My dream-ego was proved wrong also.

And my friend?

I pulled out my pocket knife in the blink of an eye, quickly pushing it in to the guy's abdomen. With curiosity in his eyes, he tried to fight back. But just until my knife ripped his artery on the neck.

The roles were changed, the other robber was standing like a statue in front of me. He was not even noticing the blade slipping into his chest once, twice, a dozen time more.

The security guard was running towards me, but the sight left him shocked also. Unable to reach his gun, he tried to hit me with a powerless punch, but I was faster. My knife has drawn a red horizontal line on his stomach, which slowly but surely opened up like a mouth opens for a smile.

I left the building without a word to the few customers left in the middle of the massacre. The wind was chilly outside and the Moon was pale. Just as I was.

I didn't have time for thinking. Not now.

My friend, you were right.

Final cut- literally

This post deserves to be written in english. Most probably cause its something that may shock people outside of Hungary, but locals arent suprised anymore...

So a brief intro: our government is currently overachieving compared to the previous one in terms of ridiculousity and insanity as well. Many unbelievable things are happening, but now I just want to pick out one.

Related to movies, so the spanish guy should pay some attention.

We have this guy, Andy Vajna, famous Hollywood (hungarian) producer. This man was offered a job in the new government, sort of supervisor of all hungarian movies, you know, the guy who normally judges which movie should get more, and which should get less support from the gov.

Now apparently his authority expands according to the news: the right to make the final cut (finishing touches of the editing) in all gov. funded movies belongs to him& his comittee. Lovely. So basically what one single man doesnt like that much, can be flushed down the toilet.

Note that this works perfectly fine in the US but there almost all movies are financed by wealthy individuals, not the government!

Directors already complain about the planned lawsuit, saying that this would completely take away the meaning, the message of their movies. Agreed! And this whole governmental supervising of movies reminds me our history before the system change (1990), when we had a rule (the "3T" principle, impossible to translate, "banned","tolerated", "supported") for all kinds of artistic product. Bringing back those days doesnt look like a good idea.

So what can come next? Ah, just reading a short article about taxing the dog owners for each dog they own. "I dont wanna live in this country anymore"